I'm Straight... but I'll Touch You

I'm well familiar with the fantasy of the straight man. We've all done it.. the dreaming, or hoping they convert, maybe even fall in love with you to live happily ever after. Or then there's the ones that are straight, but just want to have sex with you. And those, my friends, are what I have encountered.

Case #1: The obviously in denial gay boy.
In college, there of course was that one guy who you knew was playing-with-matches flaming. Everyone noticed it, but him. So up and down he would swear that he's straight, until after a drunken night, you're sitting on the couch with him under a blanket, and he sticks his foot in your crotch. I frakking knew it. His idea, to then sneak into the bathroom to start his guy loving, and next thing you know he's bed bound and begging to be entered. All the while he's saying such sweet words like "no one can know" (even your girlfriend knows) and with this continual talk, I've lost interest. Next day he's blocked me from all forms of communication, but I don't care. I laugh.

Case #2: I've recently gone bi.
Back to college, only post graduation for myself. Had a crush on a straight coworker, never pursued anything because I respect such. I am not one of those that pursues a conversion; they tend to find me anyway. I was going back to my college town for a friend's bday party. So naturally, I tell all I know I'm going to be back in town, including said straight coworker. Before I even arrive in town, I get a surprise text from him telling me that he has recently gone bi, and really wants to see me. Score! Oh my luck! To get to the point, we have bathroom happenings, and next day I don't hear from him again. Oh well. This one actually panged a tinge because I would've been happy to stay friends. Maybe one day.

Case #3: The Unexpected
This one, most recent (as of a week ago) came out of nowhere. I'm out with friends. We're a happy go lucky bunch, and new people to meet are always A OK by me. When I go out, I never expect much to happen it comes to the male gender. A guy in the group that was new to me decided to indulge a little information when we were alone. While he loves the ladies, turns out he doesn't mind the company of a man body to satisfy his cravings. Naturally I would have to ponder things in my mind, if I want to go there or not, but I thought why not? Let's play along. Next thing I know we are exchanging numbers. To be continued...

The Hit is Because I'm Nice

Dear Coworker,
I understand how you could think such. I was just being nice. Many times, people mistake this niceness and come to the conclusion that I might be hitting on them. However, I have never seen it approached with such conviction that they are convinced I am hitting on them hardcore, all the time.

Dear Coworker, I was just being nice to you. I am happy to inform you that I have no interest in you at all. See my previous entries on the "no spark" feeling, and apply it to yourself. I do hope that you can realize was just trying to be your friend, which you should welcome, as most others we work with don't share the same sentiment.

Kisses!

A Factor of L

I love you. This is usually reserved for those I claim as close friends and family, but it's never been said to anyone I've dated or been in a relationship with. There are those I've thought I could see myself say it to. There have been those that wanted to say it to me, but I could not in return, and there has been only one that I thought I would say it to, and receive it back, before our abrupt end. We knew our relationship had an end date, but still started something. But alas, my move came.

I strongly feel these words in a relationship should not be thrown around all willy nilly. If I say them, I am absolutely giving myself away, and expect the same back. Yes, this sounds heavy, I've been told that this fades for those in love, and I've seen it happen. Maybe I can blame my desire on my cosmic makings, being born under the sign of Venus. Venus, you minx. I could go into a bunch of the cliches I can see myself in, but instead, I'll simply put; Love, this is what I can only hope to find.